Seven, Soap, and Chaos
by alBBie
Summary: They are seven Muggle strangers, picked to live in a house and have their lives taped. Full of drama, hookups, drunken escapades, and more... AU, R&R.
1. There's Something About Pansy

**A/N: **I just got back from camp and I started this story there. I probably won't continue it because it probably won't be very popular, but it depends on my mood, really. A bunch of my stories were deleted before I left, which makes me sad. Okay, here's the story. (At the moment it has no title…)

**Summary: **7 Hogwarts students are chosen to be part of the cast on MTV's The Real World, only the catch is that they're all American, they've never met each other before, and they're all Muggles. So technically, they're not Hogwarts students.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters or the TV show but I own the idea!

**000000**

_This is the story of seven strangers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped. Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real._

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Hermione Granger waited for her housemate at the end of the walkway on the Manhattan side of the Brooklyn Bridge, not quite knowing what to expect. At all. Being an avid watcher of the Real World, she knew there were a few stereotypes her roommate could fit into. She could be waiting for the frat boy, the gay guy, the slut, the token black guy, the outcast, or maybe even something different if MTV happened to get creative. But it wasn't like any of this was making her feel any better.

She sighed and picked at one of her scabby cuticles. She picked at them so often that all of her cuticles were either scabs or tender pink flesh, neither of which were attractive in any way. But it was a nervous habit, and she was nervous.

One of the cameramen hovering over her switched sides and glided to her left. She knew the cameras were the main thing she'd have to get used to. She tried to ignore them and think about other things. That would only work for about ten seconds, and then she'd become aware of the crew hanging over her and get frustrated and self conscious again. Where was her damn roommate? She looked down at her hands again and started to pick at the cuticle on her thumb and then, as though on cue, she heard a man's voice coming from above her. She looked up. Standing above her was a guy, probably around six feet, with piercing and frightening steel eyes and almost white hair. His features were slightly pointy and menacing and his skin was pale. She shuddered inwardly.

"You must be my housemate," he repeated. He smiled. It looked forced.

"Yes!" she responded, standing up straight from her position leaning against the cold, black fence. She held out her hand. "I'm Hermione."

He shook it. "Draco," he said.

He was sort of creepy looking.

"There's a cab waiting for us to take us to our house," he explained. He turned around and she followed him to the sidewalk. As they put their luggage in the trunk of the car and climbed inside, she decided he must be the gay guy.

**000000**

Harry Potter spotted the only person sitting on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum surrounded by a camera crew and stepped out of his taxicab to greet her. She was sitting atop the long, wide, gigantic staircase that led to the entrance of the museum. She had her chin resting in her hands and her elbows resting on her knees, giving her quite the dreary look. She had brown hair that reached below her shoulders and was pinned partially to the side b a bobby pin, as he began to notice as he ascended the stairs toward her. She glanced up and saw him and instantly her glum expression was wiped away. Her large mouth spread into a wide grin beneath her prominent nose, and her huge eyes lit up in delight. She stood to reach a height of what looked around 5' 4" or so and her extremely frail-looking body was revealed. Harry wondered how someone so small didn't shatter into a million pieces from a tap on the shoulder.

Two things Harry knew were out of place were her breasts. Her ample C cups were definitely not natural for such a petite frame. Even Harry could figure that out.

"I'm Pansy!" she cried in excitement.

"Harry," he responded, shaking her hand. Being the gentleman that he was, he took her bag and headed down the steps with her following. "Where are you from?" he asked as they neared the bottom.

"Quebec, Canada," was her response. She smiled. "You?"

"Outside Boston," he answered.

Pansy nodded. Harry put her bag in the trunk of the cab next to his and then joined her in the car.

"We have to pick up another roommate," he informed her.

Soon they reached the entrance to Central Park located directly across from the Plaza Hotel. Leaning against a fence similarly to Hermione was their third housemate. He was taller than Harry and lean but muscular. He looked very fit and smiled as the two housemates approached.

"I'm Pansy!" Pansy squealed as she had to Harry just moments before. She held out her hand.

He took it and replied, "I'm Dean." He turned to Harry and took his hand. Harry noticed that Dean was a full inch or two taller than he was as he stood up to his full height of 5' 11".

"I'm Harry," he introduced himself.

"Nice to meet you."

Pansy gave out another small cry of excitement as they headed toward the taxi. This was going to be a long 3 months

**000000**

Ron Weasley was meeting the 7th roommate on the corner of a busy SoHo street. He had never been to New York City before, but so far he thought it was pretty cool. Kind of hectic, but he was excited to be spending the next 3 months of his life there. He looked down the street to see a smiling girl surrounded by a camera crew heading toward him. She looked over a half a foot shorter than he was with straight, dark hair and bright brown eyes.

"You must be my roommate," she inferred, offering him her hand.

He took it. "Yup," he said excitedly. "I'm Ron."

"I'm Cho," she said.

There were very few Asian people (none, in fact) that lived in Ron's small Tennessee town, so it didn't exactly help to smash any stereotypes that one of the first Asian people Ron ever met was named "Cho".

A cab was waiting for them so they stepped inside after loading their luggage into the trunk.

"Where are you from?" Ron asked in his slight southern accent.

"I'm from California," Cho answered.

"Really? Where?" Ron asked, interested.

"San Francisco."

"Nice…"

She nodded. "You?"

"Tennessee," he told her.

"Cool," Cho said. There was an awkward silence, and then, "I've never been to Tennessee."

"I've never been to California."

**000000**

Hermione and Draco were the first to reach the house. It was an old empty building of some sort somewhere downtown in the city. Unfortunately for Draco, he didn't quite know where. It had been completely refurnished and cleaned up so the inside was humongous and very nice.

"Whoa," Hermione breathed incredulously. "This place is amazing."

"Holy crap," was Draco's reaction. "I'm going to pick a room," he told her.

"Okay," she said, following him up the stairs.

There were three bedrooms; two containing two large beds and the last one with three beds.

"Should we wait until the others arrive before we pick our rooms?" Hermione asked.

Draco shrugged. "I'll just take this one," he said, dragging his bag into one of the rooms with two beds.

"Okay…" Hermione left her bag in the hallway.

He left the room and decided to take a look around the house. He voiced this to Hermione who decided to join him.

The top floor of the house was almost completely open to the bottom floor. There was a balcony that ran through two thirds of the hallway. The bedrooms were in front of and to the right of the staircase behind large curtains. To the left there was a spacious hot tub and on the right was a huge bathroom and closet area, which was the only part of the floor that didn't have a balcony. On the first floor there was a huge open space where the kitchen was toward the back, underneath the balcony. The living room was to the left and an area with a pool table and some chairs was to the right.

"This place is huge," Hermione gushed, her eyes shining.

"It's pretty cool…" Draco said quietly. He thought it was exciting and the whole idea that he was going to be on the Real World was exciting, but he couldn't help being slightly jaded; his family was well off and he'd been to New York City many times before (although he didn't quite know it like the back of his hand) since he only lived around 45 minutes away in Westchester. And it wasn't as though he'd never seen a big house before. He turned to get a better look at Hermione as she gazed wide-eyed up at the balcony. She was pretty, with layered brown hair that reached the small of her back and big brown eyes and a big mouth. Her skin was nicely tanned and her body was thin but not disgustingly, just in a healthy way. She was probably around 5' 6" or 5' 7" in her height.

Suddenly the door behind them opened. Draco spun around to see a smiling Asian girl and a tall, redheaded boy.

"Oh, hi!" Hermione cried excitedly, turning around. She offered her hand to the two of them in turn. "I'm Hermione."

"I'm Ron," said the boy.

"I'm Cho," said the girl.

"It's so nice to meet you!" Hermione exclaimed. She was sort of starting to annoy Draco.

Draco introduced himself to the two of them.

"So, have you guys chosen your rooms yet?" Cho asked.

"Draco has," Hermione said. "But I wanted to wait for everyone to arrive."

"Well where are the bedrooms?" Cho asked.

The four headed upstairs, led by Hermione and Draco. Cho headed straight into the room with three beds and decided to sleep there.

"I guess I'll room with you," Hermione decided, joining her behind the flowing blue curtain.

"I'll room with you," Ron said to Draco. He set his stuff down in Draco's room.

"Okay," Draco responded. He would love to have his own room, but he was on the Real World and that obviously wasn't going to happen.

Seconds later the last three roommates arrived. They all introduced themselves but the first thing Draco noticed was Pansy's chest. She was tiny with boobs; just the way he liked it. He didn't care how fake they might be.

"So where are you from?" he asked her as the seven of them headed upstairs to choose their rooms.

"Quebec," she said. "You?"

"Westchester, New York," he said.

She smiled broadly at him. She had a huge mouth. He loved it.

**000000**

Harry decided to room with Dean, since Ron was already rooming with Draco and the three girls wanted to room together. After everyone settled in, the seven headed back downstairs and into the kitchen.

"So where is everyone from?" Cho asked, looking around the room. Dean, Hermione, and Harry sat down on the stools in front of the island in the middle of the kitchen while Ron looked in the refrigerator, Draco leaned against the kitchen table, Pansy took a seat at that, right next to Draco's butt, and Cho stood in front of the sink that was on the island.

Everyone went through where they were from again.

"Quebec, Canada," Pansy said. "I lived in France until I was nine, though."

"How old are you now?" Harry wondered aloud.

"Nineteen," she said.

"So are you natively French?" Cho asked.

"My dad is Canadian and my mom is French-Canadian," she explained. "My first language was English, but I've been speaking French since I was little, as well."

"That's really cool," Hermione said.

"Yeah…" said Cho.

The group talked about themselves and each other for the rest of the afternoon. Nothing exciting was bound to happen until the sun went down, and the minute it did, the group headed off to the nearest club they could find. And that is where the fun began.

Harry was a pretty big party boy himself. He liked to drink and dance and have a good time. He liked girls a lot, too. He could tell instantly that Ron was like that also. He second they stepped inside the club, he headed straight toward the bar. He was the one who suggested going out in the first place. He was the stereotypical frat boy type of person the show loved to have.

As the night went on, Harry downed his drinks, but he focused mainly on one thing: Cho. She was absolutely beautiful, in his eyes. She had the perfect figure and a pretty face. He watched her from afar as she danced on the dance floor. Normally he would waltz right up to her and dance with her, but there was something oddly frightening and intimidating about this girl. He bought himself another drink and sat down with Ron and Hermione at one of the booths. He could tell that Ron was pretty drunk, but Hermione had probably barely had anything to drink. It figured. He sat with the two for a few minutes before Hermione excused herself to go to the bathroom.

When she was safely out of sight, Ron turned to him and said, "Just go dance with her."

Harry didn't realize that he'd been staring at Cho for the last five minutes. "Huh?"

"You've been ogling at her for like three hours, please just go dance with her or hook up with her or something," Ron said.

Harry wasn't quite sure if he should be taking commands from a drunk person, but then again he wasn't so sober himself. "Oh, fine," he agreed, getting up. He started through the throng of gyrating bodies toward his destination.

**000000**

Pansy Parkinson had a goal for the end of the night: it was to hook up with Draco. And when she set a goal – or at least, a goal like this one – she completed it. She had already danced with him a few times that night and enjoyed it very much. He was a good dancer, and so was she, and she assumed that he enjoyed dancing with her as much as she did with him. She also had her _assets_ to work with.

"Hey!" She found him sitting with Ron, Dean, and Hermione at a booth. She shoved her skinny butt right next to him. She took a big swig of Draco's beer. She had a low tolerance for alcohol.

Dean started laughing suddenly. But he wasn't laughing at her.

"What is it?" Ron asked.

"Looks like Harry got some booty!" he said with a big smile.

All four heads spun at once in the direction of Harry. He was dancing very intimately with Cho. It was enough to start making you feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Yeah Harry!" Ron yelled.

"Ssssh!" Hermione snapped.

Luckily Harry didn't hear either of them, and neither did Cho. The two were too engrossed in themselves to notice anything else.

One hour and several dances between Draco and Pansy, Harry and Cho, Ron and random girls, Dean and random girls, and Draco and random girls later, the seven headed back to their house. Ron and Harry collapsed in drunken heaps on the couch and Cho and Hermione went into the kitchen. Dean went up to his room to go to bed and Draco went into his own room. Pansy followed him up. He fell onto his bed and she sat down next to him. After a moment's silence, he finally pulled her down on top of him and started kissing her feverishly. He started pulling at her shirt, and she pulled down the covers of his bed as she felt his tongue against hers.

This was the best first day ever.

**000000**

Ron headed upstairs to his bedroom fifteen minutes later. He was too wasted to change into his pajamas or brush his teeth; he just headed straight into his bedroom and fell into his bed. He lay there in the dark for a few seconds before he heard the slurping noises.

"Oh, for the love of God," he moaned, pulling the second pillow on his bed over his face. Although there was someone he quite possibly could have wanted to do that with at that moment, but he wasn't about to do anything about it.

**000000**

**A/N: **I know it's really boring so far but I promise it will get better. Lots more hooking up and drunken escapades and fights, etc. For those of you who have ever watched the Real World, I'll try to make it as crazy and drama-filled as they usually are. Please review and tell me what you think! I might not even continue this story!


	2. Anger Management

**A/N: **Thanks to my two reviewers! I didn't expect to get a lot of reviews for this, so whatever. I'm thankful to the two people who _did_ review. I was planning on continuing if I got at least one review, and I got two! Lol.

**GoldHeartSilverTears: **Thanks so much for your review! I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. I couldn't think of a title, and I was really worried that everyone would hate this one, so thanks for the compliment!

**Broken and Imaginary: **Thanks so much for reviewing! I was afraid you would think I was rude for asking, or something, and that you wouldn't review! Lol. Well, thanks a lot.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the TV show or the characters.

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The next morning, Ron woke up after everyone else and he was not in a particularly good mood. He rolled out of bed and showered before heading downstairs to find Draco in the kitchen.

"So," Ron said unhappily, opening up the refrigerator, "that's some adventure you two were having last night."

Draco laughed quietly.

"It's not funny," Ron said severely, closing the fridge and turning to face Draco.

"…Sorry…?" was his response.

"Thanks to you and Pansy, I couldn't sleep at all last night," Ron explained, opening the refrigerator again and this time taking out a carton of milk. He drank straight from it.

"What are you talking about? I heard you snoring five minutes after you lay down," Draco said accusingly.

"What?" Ron retorted. "I was awake for at least two hours and I do _not_ snore."

Draco scoffed.

"What?" Ron snapped, banging the milk carton down on the table and causing milk to slosh out all over the counter. "Look what you made me do!"

"What are you talking about?" Draco cried. "You did that yourself!"

"Yeah, well if you let me get some sleep I wouldn't have to be this angry right now!" Ron shouted.

By this time, Harry, Dean, and Cho had all entered the room in time to witness part of the ridiculous argument.

Draco stood up from his seat at the counter. "I heard you snoring and Pansy and I weren't even being that loud! Just shut your stupid ignorant mouth because you have no idea what you're talking about!" he screamed.

"Why do you think you know I was asleep when I'm the one who was kept awake all night by you two and your disgusting antics?" Ron spat. "You two are pathetic and disgusting – you just met each other YESTERDAY and already you're doing all that! It's because of people like you that our culture is frowned upon and Australians think that girls lose their virginity at age twelve!"

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked. "You're just making crap up to make me look stupid, when you're the one that is making yourself look like a jackass! And don't try to lecture me about my morals, because you know nothing about me or my life!"

"I bet Pansy _did_ lose her virginity when she was twelve!"

"Don't go off and attack her now! Have you run out of shit to say about me? Yeah, well you should have because there ISN'T any shit to say about me!"

Ron looked just about ready to punch Draco right across the face so Harry shoved through the camera crew, which was getting front row center in all the action, and pushed Draco and Ron apart.

"Okay, I think that's enough. You two have done enough arguing for one morning, and I think it's time to stop," he said in his prominent Boston accent.

Draco swatted Harry's hand away and scowled at him, while Ron just stood there, breathing at an uncontrollably loud decibel.

**000000**

Meanwhile, upstairs, Hermione was washing her face and brushing her teeth in the gigantic bathroom while Pansy was showering throughout the duration of the argument, so none of them heard anything that was going on.

"You never came back to the room last night," Hermione said curiously to Pansy when she got out of the shower.

Pansy giggled.

"Where were you?" Hermione asked, even though she was sure she knew the answer already.

"In Draco's room." Pansy laughed.

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "All night?" she said, laughing. "What were you two doing in there?"

Pansy shrugged and started to the bedroom. Hermione followed close behind.

"Did you sleep with him?" Hermione questioned, once they were in the privacy of their room.

Pansy laughed loudly. "No," she said.

"Well, you two were having some fun at the club last night," Hermione said.

Pansy raised her eyebrows up and down.

**000000**

After their fight, Draco and Ron split up and went their separate ways. They avoided each other for the rest of the day. Draco went straight off to the phone and Ron went to the dart board in the pool room.

"What was that all about?" Harry asked Ron, following him into the other room.

"The stupid douchebag wouldn't let me sleep because he was too busy doing God-knows-what with Pansy all night long," Ron explained grouchily, throwing a dart rather harshly at the dart board.

Harry didn't respond.

"He's such a fucking idiot."

Harry sighed, but didn't say anything more. He didn't want to be another person to get in an argument on the second day of the show.

**000000**

That evening, Ron, Harry, Cho, and Dean went out to the club again, Ron getting even more drunk than he had the previous night. Harry and Cho just danced again; Harry was a little bit different than Draco in that he wasn't going to pounce on Cho when they had only known each other for just over twenty-four hours.

Draco, Hermione, and Pansy, on the other hand, stayed home. Draco stayed home because he didn't want to do anything with Ron, Pansy stayed home because Draco was staying home, and Hermione didn't feel like going out again and wasting her money on one beer that she barely even touched.

The night was almost completely uneventful save for when Draco made certain that he and Pansy were in his bed when Ron came home. Ron stumbled into the room in the wee hours of the morning very intoxicatedly when he and the others came back from the club. Needless to say he was not pleased when he heard the all-too-familiar smacking noises that reached his ears once again.

"You know what? Screw you!" he slurred loudly when he realized what was going on. He turned on his heel and stomped out of the room without another word. He walked straight into the girls' room, where Pansy's bed was empty, of course, Hermione was sleeping on the bed nearest to the door, and Cho was getting ready for bed.

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" he asked drunkenly.

"Sure," Cho said, laughing to herself.

"Alright, cool." He seemed to have forgotten his bad mood for a minute.

Not quite knowing what he was doing, Ron kicked off his shoes, and then pulled off all his clothes save for his boxers, and crawled straight into Hermione's bed.

"You know… you could just sleep in Pansy's empty bed," Cho said, somewhat confused.

"Too tired…" was the mumbled response she received.

**000000**

As Harry walked by the girls' room on his way back from the bathroom the next morning, something caught his eye.

"Oh, shit," he said to himself, poking his head inside the room. He popped in next door and said to Dean, "Dean, you have to see this. Come over here." He led him through the curtain into the girls' room.

"Holy shit!" Dean cried, laughing. "Looks like Ron got some action."

What they saw was Hermione, lying spread-eagled across the bed, half on top of Ron with the sheets tangled up around them as they both snoozed happily.

Dean and Harry left, laughing, and went downstairs to the kitchen.

Pansy was the next one to witness the debacle. She gasped and almost jumped into the air at the sight of the two of them when she entered the room to get a pair of clothes the next morning. She quickly hopped over to Cho's bed and woke her up.

"What?" she asked, wiping her eyes.

"Look at Hermione's bed," she told her.

Cho leaned on her arm and looked past Pansy to see what everyone was talking about. She just laughed.

"I don't think anything happened," she said. "Ron came to sleep in here because you and Draco were doing whatever again, which annoyed him, and he was too drunk to go to your bed so he just slept in Hermione's."

Pansy giggled. "Well it looks hilarious," she said.

Cho nodded and then rolled over to go back to sleep.

Pansy then ran off to go fetch Draco from the bathroom. She led him into her room saying, "Look what you drove Ron to doing," she replied. She patted him on the back as she walked past him to leave the room saying, "I guess you're not the only one getting any action around here."

"Oh, fuck me," Draco said to himself, pouting.

**000000**

Hermione woke up finding herself in the odd arrangement everyone had taken so much time to laugh over while she slept with her face laying across Ron's naked chest.

She suddenly became very, very worried.

She leapt out of bed to find both Pansy and Cho's empty, a camera in her face, and heard everyone talking below the balcony in the kitchen when she made her way to the bathroom.

She quickly brushed her teeth and got dressed before heading downstairs to face the group.

What she got was a round of applause from Pansy, Dean, and Harry when she entered the kitchen. Draco was pouting against the opposite wall while Cho just grinned, knowing that she was the only person who really knew what that whole assortment was all about.

"Okay, I know what you all think," Hermione said, "but I have no idea what's going on."

"That's not a very good sign," Dean said, more to the others than to Hermione.

"I'm serious!" Hermione urged. "I went to sleep with NO ONE ELSE in my bed. I don't know how Ron ended up in there."

"He came into our room because he didn't want to have to attempt at sleeping again with Draco and Pansy slurping at each other last night," Cho explained from her seat at the counter. "He was too drunk to go into Pansy's bed, I guess." She shrugged.

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Great. Thank you."

A few seconds later the discussion was interrupted by Ron storming down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"I am going to kill you," he growled at Draco.

Seeing the true hatred in his eyes, and knowing that Ron was probably quite a bit stronger than he was, Draco let out a small yelp and dashed out of the room.

Ron followed closely behind.

Knowing what was about to happen, the rest of the roommates tagged along as well, Dean and Harry ready to split up any wrestling match that might be about to occur.

Draco had just run off in the direction of the room containing one of the two phones in the house. Ron looked, once again, as though he was about punch him across the face, which he hopefully wouldn't because that would result in his expulsion from the show.

"Okay, why don't you two just settle this in a civilized fashion," Harry suggested, pushing the two boys apart. "How about Ron just moves out of the room."

"Sounds perfectly good to me," Draco said, trying to sound perfectly unafraid whilst staring at Ron.

"But whereto?" Dean asked.

"Why doesn't he just trade rooms with Pansy?" Cho suggested.

A small whimper could be heard coming from Hermione's general direction.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked nonchalantly.

"… Nothing…" she said conspicuously.

Harry shrugged. "So, is that okay with you Ron?"

"Fine," he grunted.

So that's the story of how Ron moved his room on the third day of the show.

**000000**

**A/N: **I just would like to point out that I know an actual Australian person who thought that American girls lost their virginity when they were twelve. Sorry it's so short this time! But I'll give you a pretty scarf if you review! It's warm and soft and pretty colors! Okay, I'll stop being an idiot now…


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